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Reinvention

Reinventing myself as an assistant professor, I set up my office cubicle. It has a wonderful view of Mount Hood. I am filled with anticipation at the fulfillment of this long path. A few rocks crop up in the path rather quickly, but I try to steer clear of them and set my sights on a long term goal. Though no longer a state system, some of the workers have preserved a certain institutional mentality. It takes weeks to get some of the equipment I need in clinic. Then again, it takes nine months to get some of the instruments that I need for surgery. I try my best to adapt. Several close colleagues offer some helpful advice and I work hard to make voice, a successful subspeciality addition to the otolaryngology department.

While I was able to get my OHSU email while travelling in Chicago, I arrive at OHSU to hear a fellow from information services say “I’m not sure we can hook up your computer, please wait a week or two.” Growing frustrated, I speak to his boss who says “We don’t allow that kind of computer on our network.” I’m a bit surprised since the fellow in the neighboring cubicle has the same kind of computer. Eventually, I reach the top dog in computing services. He is pleasant and understanding. Twenty minutes later two fellows are in my office and my computer is up and running perfectly. I learn one secret of academics. There are some people who view a problem as a brick wall and there are other people who view every problem as a doorway to be opened.

As I start to get patients, I find that the junior staff (myself) apparently do not necessarily need a secretary, a nurse or exam rooms but should be able to make do with whatever is left over. Day to day different people work with me, my clinic moves around. Patients arrive but at times I have no exam rooms for them on that day and I have to send them home with effuse apologies. Everyone’s ideas of the basics seem to be different.

This shuffling around had a very positive side, I eventually worked with almost every employee in the department. As a generalization, the worker bees worked hard, really hard to make things happen while those people with a little power often wielded that power to block others. It is sort of like the slow car who speeds up during the passing zone to keep you behind them.

Over time I find some amazingly hard working people whose goals align with mine. They consider patient care their highest priority and will do anything to provide that kind of care. They work overtime for relatively low pay and are rewarded when patients are happy. There are tremendously knowledgable people in various departments and I develop a network of people throughout the university to count on for information, for medical care and for solving problems.

Eventually, some small differences loom rather large and my chairman, my recruiter and myself throw in the towel and we part ways. As I leave the department, a great burden is lifted as I no longer go to work each day wondering what will go wrong today, what is the next meeting about? On the other hand, I leave behind many new friends, a network of people who working together can accomplish a great deal.

With this sudden job loss, life becomes very stressful for a few months. Like the sea captain in Moby Dick, I learn that it is possible to be awake for 36 hours without any effort at all. It is possible to go for a day or two without eating. Stress does many strange things to a person. At the very least this has been an opportunity to walk in another man’s shoes as many of my neighbors and friends have been unemployed at one time or another.

The most surprising thing is all the support and all the “fortuitous” events that occur in November and December. I can recount a few of them, though to me they have pointed out that God must have plans for me that I am unaware of. The weekend I leave the university, a colleague stops me for a chat and mentions that he has office space availabe. Another friend, who has managed an otolaryngology office before, has a RN degree and happens to be between jobs and is available. People put me in touch with other people whenever I need advice. Friends and sales representatives find deals and loan me equipment for my office (not $50 items, not $100 items, but really! expensive items). A otolaryngologist is retiring and his equipment is available. A hospital that I have stayed in touch with helps get my practice going again by asking me what they can do for me. Nurses, physicians, health care workers, teachers, administrators welcome me back into private practice. For reasons that I cannot say, I have been unable to contact my patients, yet, a great many continue to find me. I am impressed at their efforts. As a bonus, I am able to spend a tremendous amount of time with my family. Surely there is a plan.

Each day dawns full of the uncertainty of the future and yet filled with promise. I finish 1999 where I began: starting a new practice, rewriting myself as a private practice subspecialist.